Halloween Lessons

Each year I learn something new on Halloween, even if it's just that you can never predict how the kids are going to handle the trick or treating. We trick in the exact same neighborhood, but it's always a great big guess as to which kid is going to flip out first. I've noticed that's it's directly proportionate to who had the most candy throughout the evening... which is ironic. More candy = constant stream of sugar/fake energy SHOULD = lasting hyperactivity, but NO.

The sugar coma sets in quicker and the one who eats the most candy CRAPS OUT FIRST.

Anyway. Last year, I learned that hey, kids get thirsty running around and stuffing mad amounts of candy in their pie-holes, and the rum and coke I was carrying in a travel coffee mug and the wine that Nate was carrying in his wasn't exactly anything we could offer up to them. So this year, I got smart. I put a mini 8-ounce bottle of water in each of their candy bags. And no, you needn't worry about the water making the candy bag too heavy once the candy starts pouring in, because they'll drink the water, subtracting the weight.

Another thing I either learned this year or learned last year and just forgot in the meantime, is that the one-piece kid costumes can suck a big one, especially if the kid has to use a public restroom. At Ethan's school parade, Connor, who was in a one-piece Lightning McQueen costume, had to pee and IT WAS AWESOME accidentally dropping the upper half on the ground that a thousand kids have peed on in front of the toilet, and then he stepped on it and probably peed on it. I was trying not to cringe when I redressed him in it. I will try to avoid one-piece costumes in the future.

When the candy-givers let your kid pick their treat, and you "help" your toddler "find the one 'he' likes," each and every one of the candy-givers knows that you're picking what you like. They called me out every time. Finally, I dropped any pretense and just started saying, "I like that one, Brandon!"

Taking a flashlight is a great idea (fantastic, really) but it only works if you stick together when using it. For instance, if you, the flashlight holder, walk one way around a parked car, and one kid walks the other, dark way, and trips, falls, and spills his pumpkin basket of candy everywhere, that's a flashlight-usage FAIL. Which brings me to my next bit of insight:

If your kid trips and falls and spills his pumpkin basket of candy everywhere, he will be more upset about his candy being all over the ground than he will about his gravel-embedded bleeding knees and hands. I PROMISE. Just leave him laying there and start picking up the candy RIGHT AWAY if you want the tears to stop quicker. He doesn't give a shit about his knees, HIS CANDY'S ALL OVER THE GROUND, DAMN IT.

I'm thinking I'm going to get those glow stick bracelets and necklaces for the boys this year. They have tons of them at dollar stores. And maybe let them have their own flashlights, too.

Brandon reminded me of this one this year: You can't always count on the two- and three-year-olds being okay with getting into their costumes. There's something about that age group - they just aren't sure about this costume deal; it could go either way. So two things.
1. Have a back-up plan in place for the kid. Like, a Halloween shirt and some face paint or something. Lame, sure, but at least it's something. People who give out candy want to at least see some effort on the kids' part.
2. If you happen to get your kid in the costume for something outside of trick-or-treating, take lots of pictures then, since it may be the last time they are willing to get in it. For instance, earlier in the day, I got Brandon into his pirate costume for Ethan's school parade, and knowing that it may well be the last time he'd be willing to wear it, snapped lots of pictures. 

Have you ever seen a pirate playing tetherball before?

I'm glad I did, since later for trick or treating, he refused to wear it again, so I put him in a Halloween shirt and painted his face like a cat. Then at the last second, I was able to get him into the pirate pants, so he was kind of like a pirate cat. Then the face paint smeared and he just looked like a dirty pirate. So it all worked out in the end.

And, I'm being reminded right now, hide the candy from them before they wake up in the morning. You probably are smart enough to have remembered to do that, but for some reason, I didn't remember last night and now I am paying for that mistake. So, since I'll probably re-post this next year (before Halloween) it will serve as a reminder for me.

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