Anniversary!

HEY GUESS WHAT? Today, 11/11/12 is the one-year anniversary of this blog! Are you excited? No? Well, I'M EXCITED! Actually, I'm probably more excited that the boys are going to stay the night at their Nana's house tonight... WE'RE GOING TO BE KID-FREE FOR 24 HOURS!

That's right... an afternoon and night of utter debauchery is about to commence.

Anyway. I haven't told you the story, like you care, about what specifically prompted me to start this blog. As a whole, many things did, but early one morning a couple of weeks before I started it, I was laying on my couch with a pillow over my head, feeling a little twitchy, trying to block out the chaos of Ethan and Connor screaming and yelling and basically being regular little boys but driving me nuts, nonetheless. Brandon was a little over a year old and still sleeping (back when he used to sleep in). I was, quite frankly, struggling very much with motherhood. I had no outlet for the insanity that I was feeling creeping into my head, no outlet for the negative (but normal) thoughts and feelings, no outlet for the utter chaos of my every day life. As I laid there, being smothered by the pillow reality of how completely insane it is to mother three very little boys, on the brink of breaking down, I thought to myself:

Motherhood is a descent into madness. I am going fucking mad.

And then, I knew. I just knew. I have always loved writing, and I had been kicking around the idea of writing about motherhood but hadn't yet taken any steps to do it. So I started researching my options. Do I blog, or just try to write a book? From my research, I quickly realized that writers are trying to get book deals like waiters in L.A. are trying to get movie roles. And the simple fact is, the chances suck. In spite of that, I figured that blogging was a good platform to fine-tune my writing, learn what people out there like and don't like, build an audience, and develop my style.

And, to find my people. I needed to find a community of people who were in the same boat, who didn't always consider parenthood to be peaches and cream and puppy dog farts. Who had a sense of humor about parenthood and all of the shit that goes along with it. 

On 11/11/11, I published that first post. No, I didn't intentionally choose that date for all the elevens in it, it just happened to be when I was ready. 

It was a really exciting day. I felt like I was climbing up out of my mom-hole, finally doing something for me, finally putting some of my talents to work, instead of watching myself spiral down into a pit of despair and not knowing how to drag myself out of it.

It was also completely terrifying. I knew that if I was going to do this, if I was going to write, I was going to be 100% real and honest, because that's just the way I am. I knew that I was *metaphorically* stripping naked and putting myself (and my family) out there. I knew I was going to make a complete asshole of myself.

But there was no going back. People, I fucking love writing. 

It is so cathartic.

It felt (and still does feel) GREAT to release all of these feelings inside of me. It's like when you've eaten something bad or caught a bug and you feel all shitty and then you throw up, just vomit up your guts, let it all out, and afterward feel a thousand times better because it's gone. 

I highly recommend it to anyone!

It has also been amazing to discover, on a different level than I already knew, what absolutely phenomenal friends and family I have. It is humbling and completely overwhelming to see such an outpouring of support from you for my writing. I know that some of you don't necessarily agree with a lot of what I write, but you look past the content (and the swearing... OHMYGOD *eye roll*) and see my writing, see my soul-baring, see my humor, and pat me on the back anyway. 

Or you love what I write and show it. I'm not writing for accolades or ego boosts but I cannot explain to you how much it means to me to see you guys supporting me, complimenting me, and sharing what I write. It's not often that we get chances to come through for the people in our lives, and you have come through for me and it means more than you know.

And to the rest of you readers, thank you for being here. I would write even if I only had 2 readers (my mom and Nate), so it's such a bonus having you here! Especially since you have - so far - been respectful and caring towards me, even though I'm sure I've written things that you've 100% disagreed with. It's so fun having this little community!

I also owe a few other writers some pretty big thank yous. So I'm going to step up to the Academy Awards microphone and give my thank you speech to these ladies. Oh, sorry, Jason, I mean, ladies and gentlemen. I was thinking back to your NickMom comedy performance and your lipstick...

Anyway, I'm holding a drink instead of the statue because, well, I'd rather have a drink than a statue in my hand.

Julie at ILikeBeerAndBabies.com: You were one of the very first blogs that I started reading regularly because I completely identify with you and I love your blog. It's been so fun getting to know you outside of blogging, and realize how much we have in common, and especially to trade lines from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and various other movies. I'm excited to meet in person someday, just so you can motorboat my boobs and we can drink our body weight in alcohol together and act like total jackasses. IT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. I just hope we don't get arrested. And seriously, I really appreciate all the tech help and support you've given me. It's awesome having someone to chat about blog stuff with. You're the breastest.

Christine at theaums.com: You have been a big help in getting me on board with some of the social media stuff, sharing my posts and promoting me, and helping me out tech-wise. I'm grateful for all of it! You are, quite frankly, a really nice person, and I appreciate that you immediately accepted me for the obnoxious, crass, and totally uncouth person that I am, even though you're way classier. It was especially fun having a bunch of naked dudes shake their (covered) penises in our faces. (We saw Magic Mike together.) And I can't thank you enough for making me aware of this next writer by sharing a super funny post of his way back when:

Jason at jasongood.net: Dude, don't forget to tell me when you come to The Punchline - I owe you like... 365 (ha) beers at this point. You were the one who gave me one of my most exciting times, to date, as a writer by sharing that post of mine and I got to see my blog just BLOW UP for a couple of days. I know you know how fucking awesome it is to watch that happen. Thank you so much for exposing your readers to me. I am determined to return the favor someday. Somehow. 

Not only that, I really appreciate all the blogging input you've given me, and especially the time and effort you put into making the blog header for me. Simply put, you're really awesome. So's your writing.

So this last year has been fun. I love laughing at myself and my kids even more than I thought. I love how exposure to other moms and styles and opinions has actually helped me become a less judgmental and more compassionate person. Sure, I see shit all the time that makes my eyes pop out of my head, but I just don't care as much as I used to about the parenting choices that people make. I realize that everyone is just doing the best they can with what they have. We all love our kids, and no one habit or choice means that a parent loves their kid more or is a better parent than anyone else.

And I am looking forward to the next year! But now, I must go pack the boys up for their Nana's house so Nate and I can get this crazy train on the road. *NOTE TO SELF: DON'T drunk Facebook later, DON'T drunk Facebook later...*

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