Thursday, August 16, 2012

Go On A Date

Monday night, the boys stayed overnight at their Nana's house and that meant that Nate and I had the house to ourselves for twenty-four hours.

Twenty-four hours!! How incredible is that? It was like we won the lottery! We dropped the boys off and went ape-shit crazy! We went to a recycling place and dropped stuff off! We went to Toys R' Us and Best Buy! 

We went to the POST OFFICE!

And then, wore out and exhausted from all the errand fun, we went back home and that's when it got real. For real.

We walked to a local winery and did some wine tasting. We are so lucky; we live within a five-minute walk to not 1 but like 5 wineries and an organic brewing company. Oh yeah.

We stumbled walked back home, had some food, I made a stiff drink in a travel coffee mug, and then we hopped on our bikes and with my drink in my basket, rode down to our local amusement park, the boardwalk. Yep. We got rid of our kids and then went to a place for them. I know, that makes so much sense! 

But let me tell you, riding my bike along the cliffs above the ocean, hearing the waves crashing below, I was happy as a clam. Carefree. And when we approached the wharf and the boardwalk, it was dark and all of the lights were beautiful and the smells of greasy, garlicky food and sweet cotton candy and ice cream and elephant ears and the body odor of seven thousand people were like the best perfume and reminded me of pure, unadulterated youth. 

It was total happiness. I did not have a problem or a care in the world. We parked our bikes and walked along the boardwalk, then walked down to the beach and sat under the boardwalk and watched the waves. And the Drifters song and the movie Beaches better have just popped into your mind! Unless you're 12. Then you're excused.

We went back up to the boardwalk and rode some rides. My crowning moment was when I got the terrified-of-heights Nate up on the sky gliders. I'm sure he wanted to shit his pants being up that high and for so long (they run a big length of the boardwalk) but he held himself together and didn't act like a little bitch. (I'm proud of you, dude.)

Then we went to the arcade and played games and took pictures in the photo booth. The last time we took pictures in the photo booth, we weren't even married. Only one came out horribly; I looked like a total hag, but I solved that problem by drawing on it with a black permanent marker. I now have a beard, a 'stache, a crazy homeless person's 'fro, and some freckles in it. 

We rode home and the fun did not end there. We grabbed a blanket and a bottle of champagne and rode back down to the beach to sit on the cliffs and stare into the thick fog. Usually when we get to do that, we can see across the bay and have quite a view, but not that night. 

But who cared? We could hear the waves. We were alone. I was not sober. Not even close. 

The next morning, we slept until 11:30 and then had a leisurely brunch in our very quiet and very peaceful house. 

People. If you have kids with your significant other, I cannot stress enough how critical it is to get away as a couple. No kids. Have dates. Stay connected as a couple because one day, the kids are going to leave and you're going to look around your house and only see your significant other sitting there. And it would really suck if you were looking at a stranger. 

Atrocious divorce statistics aside, your spouse is the one who is going to be there with you and for you until the end, not your kids. Kids will grow up and move on and start their own lives, and that transition will go much easier if you've spent the last 18+ years taking care of yourself and your relationship. So go on dates. Remember that you're not just parents, you're a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. We have many roles in our lives and that one is all-too-often the one that gets neglected and de-prioritized, to the detriment of not just you and your significant other, but the kids, too.

So go on a date. Punt the kids off on someone else for a night. Do it as often as you can. If you don't have family that can help, look into doing babysitting trades or swaps with other responsible couples who have kids. Keeps babysitting costs at bay and the kids will have fun hanging out with each other.

Just don't steal someone else's dinner reservation. 


Date Night


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26 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Mmmm... I'm still thinking about it. Like maybe in a quickie post: How to remedy bad pictures?

      Delete
  2. Lol - I loved the last line and picture.

    You make an excellent point about when the kids are gone and all that is left is you and your significant other... that you want to not be looking at a stranger.

    I do get caught up in my role of full time worker, mother, taxi service, catering queen, short order cook, maid service and pampered chef consultant. I need to remember to be a wife too.

    great post!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Kylee!

      Yep, it's so easy to be caught up in the mom and caretaker roles. I'm glad you'll remember to be a wife too!

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  3. I agree with ilikebeerandbabies!! Post 'em! We all love fun drunken photos!!

    I am not up to par with Instagram, but those photos always look good...can you jazz them up on that site?

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    Replies
    1. I have absolutely no idea about Instagram! I've never used it, either! I'm a social media dud.

      Well, I'm taking it into consideration, to post the photos. They're really not that fun overall, except for the one I drew all over!

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  4. I was wondering where the pictures were myself! And I agree wholeheartedly that it's so important to spend time alone with your hubby (or wife, or sig. other). Don't take one another for granted. Have fun!!! Thanks for sharing.

    Teri
    Snarkfest

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    Replies
    1. Oh jeez, the peer pressure!! Well, I'm thinking about it. We'll see. Like I told TBag up above, they're not that exciting. We smile in one, I make a dirty gesture in another, look like a hag in one (that is now desecrated), and we finish it off with the totally original, nobody-has-done-this-EVER-before kissing pose. Boring!

      Glad you agree on the spending time alone thing. There needs to be more people like us. :-)

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  5. **CHANTING**
    POST THEM
    POST THEM
    POST THEM

    ReplyDelete
  6. A good blogger knows her audience and gives them what they want!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You all are a bunch of assholes.

      Just kidding. I love each and every one of you.

      But really, they're NOT that special! You guys are making too much out of them! You are so going to be let down. Seriously.

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  7. We're happy when you're happy, and we want to see....
    POST THEM ; )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You win. I will.

      P.s. That's a very sweet thing to say, "we're happy when you're happy." Thank you!

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    2. Misery loves company (and drinking buddies).

      but when you follow someone's ups n downs. you want there to be lots of ups.

      And most mommies (i think) wouldn't want to miss a moment (except for the really shitty ones). and your blog reminds us/makes us laugh/makes us connected (all be it as sleep deprived/on edge/lushes) :)

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    3. You are so sweet! And correct, I know you all want to see the ups! Thank you!

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  8. That sounds like great advice. Baby girl is a little small to leave for very long at the moment but we're off to the coast this weekend for a break with my family. As my sister, her husband and baby are staying at my Mum's at the moment it will be possible to leave BG with them and walk to the local pub to grab an hour or two alone. OH is particularly looking forward to it as we had a very hot and fractious baby during the UK's traditional two-day summer over the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I remember with the first one I wasn't interested in leaving him for long stretches in the beginning, if at all. By the third baby, a few weeks after he was born, we went to a wedding all afternoon and evening and I was ready to be away!
      I'm glad you'll be able to get a break this weekend and maybe even get that hour or two alone. I hope you have fun! ("Traditional two-day summer" made me smile!)

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    2. We can't leave her too long at the moment as we're (well, not "we" as such, my breastfeeding skills are pretty much non-existent*) feeding on demand at the moment and trying not to use bottles to avoid "nipple-confusion". As apparently, that's a thing. It will be interesting to see how OH copes with an hour or two separation though.

      *Typing that sentence broke a dream I had last night. A really weird dream.

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    3. Even if you get an hour!

      Ah, the weird dreams. I have them often. Keeps life interesting!

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  9. Okay, I missed the last few posts for some reason. So I'm late on the uptake. Giving away your kids for the night is THE BEST IDEA EVER! We only have one (another to come in ~7 months, sshhh, that's not public knowledge yet), and don't live near any of our family. So every time we're at our parents' houses, or they come visit us, we take FULL advantage and get the heck away from our kid and it's wonderful. Does that sound awful? I hope not, because it's true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ARE YOU KIDDING?? CONGRATULATIONS!! How exciting! I hope you are feeling okay and not having too much first trimester crap.
      And it does NOT sound awful when you say it's wonderful. That means good things, like you enjoy each others' company!

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    2. Normal human beings always understand statements like that. :) And thank you! No nausea, yet...I wake up every morning thinking, "Will this be the day I start feeling pukey?" Nothing like starting the day with positive thoughts!

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  10. Lol i like your writing you so witty. It is perfect advice though too many couples forget to have time together, i really liked where you said "Stay connected as a couple because one day, the kids are going to leave and you're going to look around your house and only see your significant other sitting there. And it would really suck if you were looking at a stranger." I have never really thought of it that way, im glad i came across your blog on the mommy blogger facebook group

    missy (never a dull moment)

    ReplyDelete

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