Friday, June 7, 2013

Packing Is Another Form Of Tetris

HI everyone! Just poking my head up from under the boxes and dust and paperwork (OH MY GOD THE PAPERWORK) and stress to say hey. Hey! 

Nonstop, people. I've been going nonstop. I'm exhausted. I can now say that I appreciate what working moms go through- I've gotten a taste of it with my 10-12 hour days of cleaning, packing, new place planning, garage sale prep, school registration, box round-ups, paperwork upon paperwork, craigslist selling... Oh yeah let me tell you something about selling shit on craigslist:

IT BLOWS when you are too stupid to make your two-year-old go inside when you sell his beloved toy that you no longer have room for to someone else, so he therefore SEES the people load up HIS toy and then starts crying hysterically and holding out his hands for it as I'm carrying him away like I'm a CPS worker taking him from his mom.

It's like a stab to the gut. Brutal. I felt like the biggest dick in the world.

But, thankfully, my kid is a total candy whore, and all I had to do was offer him a treat and his tears turned off like I hit the tap on the faucet.

So yep. I'm passing on that lesson to you to help you not make the same mistake. Although, you probably already had that one figured out. I will now be performing all my craigslist transactions in a shady back alley, in the middle of the night while my kids sleep. The safe way. (Anyone want to be my bodyguard?)

What else? OH, going through the cupboards and drawers and sadly, even shit that's in plain sight, I've never doubted my mental health more than now... Why the hell do we still have some of this stuff? Good God. I feel like a first-stage hoarder pulling some of this crap out. So go through your closets and cupboards and look under beds from time to time. Maybe wear gloves, a dust mask and eye protection if you have kids.

Did you love playing Tetris as a kid? Or hell, even now? I did. I did A LOT. So I'm actually loving packing some of these boxes- IT'S LIKE TETRIS! I'm totally in my element, arranging and angling and switching crap around to make a perfectly-packed box. I consider it one of my biggest accomplishments (of the day) when I pack a box and there is not a single square inch of space left. I actually will do a fist pump and mouth some congratulatory expletives because I am a complete weirdo.

And that's all I have time for right now. I'm diving back into my gopher hole. Sayanara, mofos!

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