Monday, March 18, 2013

A Very Special Birthday Baby

Long time readers, do you remember the story behind this bottle of champagne and the three-month-old-sized newborn?

If not, or if you're new to this blog over the last year, you might want to read that post about that bottle of champagne and Triple B's birth so this post makes sense. 

Triple B is not my kid but he's still a pretty special kid. When he was born, I took a giant bottle of cheap "California Champagne" to the hospital for his parents, as they had done the same for Nate and I when Brandon was born, and through an unfortunate sequence of events, was a touch humiliated at that event, which you can read about in that other post. But it was worth it.

Anyway, his mom told me that she was saving the champagne to open on Triple B's first birthday party, and true to her word, she did. Because we're classy and drink at kid's birthday parties. I mean, how else are you supposed to get through them?

His party was last Saturday, after the hell-like day of little league opening day, and his mom busted out the bottle. It was just what I needed after the morning we had, especially since it was like 200 degrees IN MARCH and I was dressed for significantly colder weather and was quite hot and sweaty.

So a year later, Triple B is still a baby unlike most others - he's extremely special. I know, I know, every mom says that about their friend's kids but I'm truly not exaggerating here. Triple B just turned one and he outweighs Brandon, my 2.5-year-old.

Not by a pound or two. By FIVE pounds. And Brandon is like in the 70th percentile, so he's no sucked-up, underweight midget. Triple B weighs thirty-five pounds, at 12 months old. You read that right.

I FUCKING LOVE THAT SUMO WRESTLER. No, his mom doesn't feed him McDonald's and Taco Bell and candy and soda. That baby is a BOOB LOVER and his over-producing mom could be a wet nurse to triplets, 12 months into breastfeeding. In fact, Triple B is nursing in the above photo. No, his pediatrician isn't concerned about his weight. He's walking around and active and both of his parents were not lightweights as babies, either.

Triple B loves it when I sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him, probably because he's fascinated at how horrible my voice is, and he loves playing Peek-a-Boo and being told that he's a good boy. He is, however, unsure about loving me pretending to eat his GIANT THIGH.

I'm actually grimacing under the strain of holding him but we can just say that I'm pretending to eat his leg.

Happy birthday, Triple B. I love you and the boys love you. Brandon has been talking about you every day since your party. I'm excited to watch you grow up and hear you cuss like you're some bad ass and laugh at you, and watch you try to flirt with the ladies and laugh to myself, remembering the time you were two months old and sitting on my lap, flirting up a storm with me while farting on my leg.

You'll always be Baby Triple B to me.

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  1. He's delicious!
    I have baby fever

    *backing away slowly*

  2. OMG - the ROLLS!! He is so adorable!! I'm impressed he's walking. My niece was a chunker, and she waas almost 18 mo when she finally walked.

    1. I kind of thought he wasn't going to walk for a while, too! But he did it- he has places to be, damnit! :-)

  3. I love this post. I love how strongly it comes through that you so fiercely love this baby. I love that I'm not the only mama who fiercely loves other people's children!


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