Friday, December 28, 2012

A Little Christmas Croup

Are you wondering how to have a good time on Christmas Eve? I know, I know!

Spend it in the emergency room, in a city you don't even live in! 

Sound like a good time? IT IS, believe me! (Don't.)

Yes, everyone is fine, and yes, we really spent some time in the e.r. on Christmas Eve. After putting Brandon to bed at my in-law's house, he woke up crying and coughing, but not just coughing... barking like a seal. Though we'd never had any of the boys crop up with croup, as soon as I heard that cough, I knew that's exactly what it was. 

He was having a hard time breathing, just enough that I didn't feel comfortable letting him ride the episode out, so off we went for a good time at the e.r. My mother-in-law drove Nate and I to the hospital, since we didn't know where it was.

Somehow, we lucked out and they got Brandon in right away. It was only 10 p.m., so perhaps it was too early for the drunken idiot injuries and car accidents, even for Christmas Eve, when people had probably started drinking at 10 a.m. Or maybe everyone was already passed out. Either way, it worked out well for us.

They started him on a breathing treatment, which required a mask to his face, which he LOVED. It was super awesome to hold down my already struggling-to-breathe child and force a mask over his face, causing him to cry and bark and struggle to breathe even more, and THAT was sarcasm, folks.

Eventually, he got over it, calmed down, and allowed the mask to remain over his face without too much of a fight. I don't want to brag or anything, but it was totally due to my rousing rendition, in my nails-on-a-chalkboard Celine Dion-like voice, of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."

He fell asleep in self defense, just to get me to stop singing, I'm sure.

Three hours later, he was released, with instructions to take him out into the COLD air if it happened again. We're actually not supposed to use warm moist air (like steam from a shower), because cold air is what helps bring down the inflammation that causes the barking seal cough.

As we were leaving, knowing that our kid was going to be fine, it was time to crack the inappropriate jokes to cope with the stress of what had happened and diffuse tension, so I asked Brandon if he wanted to go down to the wharf so he could "talk" to the seals, and my mother-in-law cracked that we could probably just set him out on their deck and they'd still hear him. 

And things like that. The rest of Christmas was fantastic, or maybe it just seemed like it was because hey, we weren't in the e.r.!

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Just some diaper talk, here.

The other day, between taking Ethan on his field trip, completing an order from my home business, Brandon's nap, Nate making dinner for the boys and then for us, and all the other things that tie us up, somehow, Brandon's diaper didn't get changed. For a while. We don't know *exactly* for how long but we're guessing for probably most of the day.

You know, "third kid syndrome" and all. It's worse than "second child syndrome." Brandon basically fends for himself most days. He's a tough, and very self-sufficient, two-year-old.

So, when bedtime rolled around, Brandon's diaper looked like this. Our screaming neglect looked so funny that I had to take photos, and later, after drinking a drink or however many, decided that everyone should see them and know what kind of diaper is capable of holding a day's worth of urine, along with some other diaper information. Because everyone makes good decisions after drinking.

THAT THING is hanging down to his KNEES. HOW was he able to walk in that thing? And more importantly, WHAT diaper was able to hold that many pounds of urine and not leak?

Pampers Cruisers with DRY MAX. The "dry max" is an important point, because the non dry max Pampers have the little absorbent crystals that like to bust out of the seam of the diaper  when it gets too full and get all over kids and every-damn-thing like some kind of futuristic fungus, but the dry max ones don't have the crystals.

See the little blue dry max bubble below the Cruisers logo? I know some people had issues with the dry max diapers when they first came out a couple of years ago, but in the ensuing backlash, Pampers updated the diaper and it's supposedly better now.

We don't stick with any one diaper. We use Huggies, all the different kinds of Pampers, Costco's Kirkland brand, Luvs, and Target's Up and Up brand. I know each kid is different and different diapers work in different ways for each one (How IS that?) but those have been fine for us.

One problem that a lot of people have is keeping kids dry all through the night and the best diaper I found for that are Huggies Overnights, in the next size up from their current diaper size. So, Brandon's in size 4 during the day but at night we put him in a size 5 Overnight. 

We've done that with all the boys and it seems to be the magic trick. Except with Ethan, he frequently soaked through his diaper at night; the diaper doublers didn't help, nothing. So we had to restrict beverages before bedtime, put underpads below his sheet, and suck up a lot of bed changes. Yes, it blew.

What diapers have worked best for you, disposable or cloth? My friend swears by the disposable diapers from The Honest Company, and they're also biodegradable, which is a huge win.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Random Mom Thoughts - While Pregnant: 2nd Trimester

It's another installment of Random Mom Thoughts! I must clarify once again that no, I am not pregnant... these thoughts are what I remember from my previous pregnancies (mostly my first). And if you're surprised that I remember anything from that far back (2 to 6 years ago), trust me, I am too!

- WHEW! Out of the first trimester!


- (During ultrasounds) Aw that's actually a baby in there! Doesn't look like an alien anymore! Aw, I could watch this thing all day long!

- FIFTEEN POUNDS IN A MONTH?? What the hell? I knew I was going to get fat. (Not baby belly fat. Like ALL the hell OVER fat.)

- At least I finally look pregnant. I think.

- WAS THAT A FIRST KICK? Oh yeah, bring it, baby!

- Maternity clothes SUCK MONKEY BALLS.

- I think I can smell Nate's fart from three rooms away. Holy shit, what did he EAT?

- Jesus Christ, a beer has never looked so good. Fuck it, I'm having a sip. Oh sweet Jesus, that tasted so good. I'm having another sip. Fuck it, I'm drinking a third of the bottle. Okay, half. Okay, half PLUS an extra sip or two or three. Okay. I'm stopping. It's empty.

- OH HEY EVERYONE, IT'S A BOY!! Oh hey, I guess we should stop saying "it."

- What the hell do we name this guy? How badly are we going to screw him up because of his name? I mean, we're going to screw him up no matter what, but I'd like what we named him to only factor in a little bit.

- Suddenly, pork chops are the devil. Never mind that I could eat them up until yesterday, WHY ARE THEY SO DISGUSTING NOW?

- Since when is the smell of bacon gross? Unbelievable! IT'S BACON! Oh my God, it smells so bad that I have to leave the room. The house. The neighborhood.

- Hey, where's my brain? Oh, there you, wedged nice and high UP MY ASS. How/why does pregnancy make me so stupid?


- (First pregnancy - OBVIOUSLY) Holy shit look at that kid freaking out like that. What a little bastard. And LOOK! His mom's not even doing anything about it! That will never be me! I mean, sure, my kid will act up every once in a while, but I am going to have shit under control!
***YES, I can hear your smirky laughter from here. I'm laughing at me, too.

- Okay, the kicks are getting a little stronger. That one to my full bladder? Not so excited about it.

- Did Nate just open a package of pork chops? He did! Oh my God, the smell. Is he trying to kill me?

- Yes, I'm pregnant and buying beer and wine. No I'm not having a party. No, it's not for me, it's for the dude that knocked me up and now has to tolerate me. Stop looking at me all sideways like that. I STILL CAN SEE YOU! I can smell the judgment wafting off you like a cheap perfume!

- Oh hey is that a sandwich? Throw some cake on top, please.


What were yours?

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