Friday, December 7, 2012

What The What? A Giveaway?

Guess what? I get to do my very first giveaway! 


And guess what else? YOU MIGHT WIN!

This is an epic moment for me. I kind of thought that if I ever did a giveaway on this blog, the prize would be something like an autographed nursing bra - unwashed, even though nobody on earth has ever wanted, or will ever want, my autograph.

But it's not a nursing bra. It's a copy of the ebook that two of my posts were published in! Did you hear about that? If you haven't, I am excited to announce (YET AGAIN) that two of my blog posts were published in No Laughing Allowed, a compilation of funny parenting stories from several different writers!

OH SHIT YES! The book is available on Amazon, and can be downloaded to your Kindle, or if you have an iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch, you can download the (free!) Kindle app and read the book that way. And there are probably other ways but I'm not savvy enough to know about them.

Anyway, the publishers have given each of the contributors FIVE gift copies of the book for us to give away! 

So I have five copies to gift to five of you (YES - math is my strong suit). All you have to do to enter to win is leave a comment on this post and I'll use a random generator (note to self, look those up online) to pick five winners from the commenters. I don't give a crap what your comment says, you can tell me a funny story, you can say how bad my blog is, you can tell me how many times your kid farted on you today or vice versa, whatever.

Just comment! It's captcha-free! Be sure to leave your name somewhere in the comment if you use the "anonymous" option if you don't have one of the other accounts. You can also use the "name/url link" option and just leave the url link part blank if you don't have one.

Be sure to comment by 10:00 a.m on Tuesday, December 11th, Pacific Standard Time, or "California time" if that helps anyone. That's when the giveaway ends, and I'll find out who the winners are shortly after dragging my ass out of bed, and announce it here in a new post around noon. So be sure to check back because if you win, I'll need you to email me your email address so the gift copy of the ebook can be emailed to you to download. Capiche? Bookmark the link to my blog and set a reminder on your cell phone or something if you enter.

Because this is important shit, people.

I'm sorry but only residents of the U.S. are eligible to win. Because, apparently, there are differing laws about this crap in every single country and I'm not going to learn each and every one.

And if you're wondering, But Elizabeth, why would I want an ebook with two of your posts when I've already read them on here?

Because then you get to read the other funny stories from the other writers! 

AND, because you don't know which two posts are included! WHAT a mystery.

AND, because the day after release, No Laughing Allowed landed in the TOP 10 of Amazon's best sellers in Parenting and Family Humor! (I hope it's still on there when you guys click on the link or I'll be looking like a FOOL.) *UPDATE: It's #11 at the time I published this post. 

AND, just fucking because. That's why.

Oh, OR maybe you can gift your winning prize to someone else if you don't want it, or if you already bought it (THANK YOU if you have!). Re-gifting is always cool.

And be sure to tell your friends and family about the giveaway! Share this post all the hell over the place. Spread it around like hookers and blow at a bachelorette party. Yes, it cuts your chances the more people comment, but if someone you told about this giveaway wins one of the prizes, you'll be a HERO in their eyes for the rest of their life!

And that, my friends, is better than winning the ebook yourself.

Any questions? Just email me at

Join in the fun on Facebook and Twitter!


  1. So excited for you! should do the trick :)

  2. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu*%!
    I'm probably the only lame ass in the world without an iPhone, iPod, iPad, or Kindle.
    I'm the girl on the cover on the far left with the book haha.
    Good luck to everyone who enters!
    & btw, congrats Elizabeth! This is so awesome for you!

  3. Pick me! lol.
    That's cool you'll be in a book - I think the world needs to see MORE of your posts. (I'm hoping a book like Jen from people I want to punch in the throat did is something you'll eventually do)

  4. Does this mean that my husband has to buy me a kindle for Christmas? Score!

    And, you know, congrats on the book. Ha!

  5. Being published is so exciting! And I can't even tell that you're excited, not at all.

    My daughter (19 mo) just recently started making a big, long fart noise with her mouth every time she hears a fart, and then she just smiles devilishly. I just thought I'd share something.

  6. I love that your posts always make me laugh! I was wondering about giveaways and if that's something I'm missing out on doing on my blog. I wouldn't know the first about what to do and I have enough on my plate at the moment. Hope you figure it out without issue. Congrats on being in an ebook! You rock!

  7. What an accomplishment to be published! I love your writing and your real take on real life - you are so refreshing! Thanks for the laughs with the nursing bra analogy (my husband would like to know what I'm giggling about over here, but he just won't get it). :)

  8. tues is way too long to wait. you should do it now!

  9. I would LOVE to see what you've got in the book as well as all of the other blogs too! Fingers crossed!

  10. You know I want to win, but does it work on Google books? unless my hubby got me a kindle this Christmas I can't win it either. see Christina, your not only lame ass!

  11. You're the funniest person ever!

  12. Omg its Amy, not unknown

  13. Congrats on the publish! I love reading your posts :)

  14. Please enter me - sounds hilarious!

  15. My son now knows how to say what Daddy does at work! "Daddy fixes. Phones."
    I taught him to say "Mommy grows babies!!" for my work! :)

  16. Congrats on getting published- your blog is fantastic!

  17. Congrats on the publishing! Not that it really surprises me cause you have always been fn amazing! I love reading your blog.

  18. I have to feed Triple B as well as Brad, I'd like to win so I can save the few bucks! They need to eat!

  19. I enjoy your post...



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