Like I debated whether or not to share the "I love cock" story, I have debated whether or not to share this story, because it's totally inappropriate. I've decided to share it anyway because 1. I need to remember that I have really awesome readers and I can give them a lot of credit and 2. Weeks after it happened, I'm STILL LAUGHING ABOUT IT, so it would be incredibly selfish of me to keep it myself, I think.
Nate and I went to Ethan's 1st grade parent-teacher conference the week of Thanksgiving. We went by ourselves, sans kids, and it was JUST like a date, driving the whole five minutes to and from the school together. Just us!
I hope I didn't get pregnant.
Nate and I went to Ethan's 1st grade parent-teacher conference the week of Thanksgiving. We went by ourselves, sans kids, and it was JUST like a date, driving the whole five minutes to and from the school together. Just us!
I hope I didn't get pregnant.
The conference went well and we're pretty proud of Ethan, but I'm not here to brag about my kid(s). EVER. Well okay, except for this little bit. I'm going to brag the shit out of this comment from his teacher on the report card that was sent home with us:
We're all going to look past the teacher's use of "to" instead of "too" after "talk", and instead focus on the fact that the kid is exactly like me.
"Ethan does love to talk..." BAM. If you know me personally I'm sorry you know that I don't fucking shut up.
Neither does Ethan. I take full responsibility credit for his annoying superb conversational skills. I also am swelling with pride to see him referred to as "a writer." For obvious reasons.
So after we got home, Nate was looking over the report card and reporting (pun intended) some of the highlights to me. It was sounding good. Then suddenly, it all went south.
Nate started laughing. What could possibly be funny on a report card, you ask?
This. This is another comment his teacher left:
I pretty much died laughing. I'm still laughing.
She's talking about about how early he finishes his school work in class, but Nate and I of course made several inappropriate and completely immature comments while laughing our asses off, like "that's not a good thing," and "hopefully that changes by the time he starts having sex," and "the girls won't really like that."
If you're feeling sorry for our kids, don't worry, we feel sorry for them too.
And we definitely won't show his girlfriends this report card in the future. And maybe someday, we'll grow up.
Nah. We probably never will.
We had a lot of fun with nuts (almonds) in Josephine's mouth last night.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome!
DeleteWe also may or may not have a standing joke in our household about Harvey's sexual relationship with an older girl in his classroom
DeleteAaaaand we're going to get along juuuuust fine!
DeleteIt will be fun seeing that teacher develop as a writer.
ReplyDeleteHA! She's probably really good at math.
DeleteLOVE this. We laugh about how much Ivy loves balls all the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd that whole "to" vs. "too" thing drives me CRAZY...my husband has a PhD and he still can't get it straight.
Yes! I love people who find the humor in that stuff!
DeleteSome of the grammar stuff is pretty hard for some people... It just has to "click," and doesn't always. It's okay. Kind of. ;-)
So, as a teacher, we're supposed to be the mature ones. I was subbing in a middle school socials class (one of my favourite groups of kids even though they were a very challenging class). I was getting students to read out loud out of the text when things went south in a very bad way. Innuendo upon innuendo had the students laughing their asses off. I tried to regain control by reading myself but it didn't help. I was trying soooooo hard not to laugh until one of the kids totally called me out on it. "Hey, look, she's trying not to laugh!" Oh, it was all over...It was a fun class, what can I say :)
ReplyDeleteThat's funny... It just can't be helped sometimes! I find that happens with the boys here and there.
DeleteThis is EXACTLY what my husband and I would do, because we're real mature like that. I'm cracking up, that was flipping hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Teri! Good to know I'm not the only one!
DeleteI think the teacher meant so, but it is funnier if it was too.
ReplyDeleteTHAT MAKES SENSE! I was trying to figure out what she meant to type, and "so" makes a lot of sense! Thank you, Tasha!
DeleteDid he get his early finishing from you, too? :)
ReplyDeleteWe'd be laughing for days if we saw that on our child's report card. We once drove 30 minutes out of our way on our way home from vacation to take a photo in front of a park called "Balls Falls".
Ha, nope! That's awesome about Balls Falls! I like your style!
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