Thursday, September 13, 2012

Kids can put my potty mouth to shame, Part 2

A while back, I wrote this post about the funny and inappropriate mispronunciations kids make. Recently, I posted on Facebook that Brandon is now saying "pepper" but it comes out "pecker." Because I have such awesome people who have liked the Facebook page for this blog, they came out in force with their own examples, and I would like to share them with you because they are just totally, inappropriately, funny. 

So stop reading here if you are opposed to strong language (KIDS THESE DAYS . . .). 

Or better yet, just pull out the 12-year-old inside of you and giggle away... here are their stories (some are condensed or paraphrased by me):

My nephew used to say Fucky Fried Chicken.

My son's funny one is dump truck, he doesn't pronounce the p and replaces the t with an f. Dump truck = dum fuck.

Don't ask my son to say frog... he starts hopping around on the floor and I swear it sounds like he's dropping f-bombs!

I have a video of my friend's son saying "frog" but it sounds like he's dropping f-bombs!

My niece would replace the "tr" in truck with an "f". One day at dinner a truck drove by the restaurant window with bunnies on it and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "bunny fuck, bunny fuck!"

My mom was in the store with my brother when he was little, and he started screaming, "I want Reese's Penis, I want Reese's Penis." She bought him the Reese's Pieces.

My boy loves saying "clock" but really struggles with the "L" part of it. ~Courtesy of Jason Good.

My 3-year-old daughter's most inappropriate mispronunciation is clock = cock. She even refers to my watch as a "cock", which was particularly embarrassing when she was admiring my "cock" in the grocery store the other day.

We were at a ball game and my 3-year-old daughter was eating peanuts, and announced to the entire section that she "loves peanus."

My 15-month-old is learning new words practically every day and right now "kitten" is "DICKEN!" She's so proud of herself when she knows a correct word that she squeals it out at the top of her lungs. ~Courtesy of Rabitstew.

My daughter says "what's that" but at 11 months it sounds like "shit". Took us a while to figure it out.

Vagina is "PaChina" or "Bajiner." ~ Courtesy of Aums Mama.
(Elizabeth here - I'm TOTALLY going to start saying bajiner. I LOVE that one! I'm super mature . . .)

My kids at 22 or so months would say "Boobies" for "blueberries" and "shit" for "shirt." My daughter still says "penis" for peanuts. And always seems to say it loudly in restaurants. "I want penis! Give me penis!" ~Courtesy of Eating for 3.

My daughter would say "cock" instead of "truck." We went to a Touch a Truck event - it was hilarious!

My nephew (or maybe it was my niece) used to say Chick For Lay. 

"Merry Pissmas" for two years with my middle one! And when we would leave Uncle Phil and Uncle Chuck's house, he would yell, "Bye Fool! Bye Fuck!" ~Courtesy of So Much for The Mother of The Year Award.

My son says "stick" and it sounds like "dick." Today he told me he was going to poke me with a big stick . . . I definitely made him say it again so I could get it on video!
(This is my kind of mom!)

My grandson (4) says "dicks" for "discs" - he wanted to play a game and said to his mom, "open dat door, I need dicks to play with." When she opened the cabinet he saw all the games and movies and told her, "wow Mom, you have a lot of dicks, don't you?" He also calls his scooter a "cooter", as in, I'm going to go ride my cooter." I guess that mainly happens when he's not inside playing with his dicks!
(I love this grandma!)


~And here are some stories that people shared:

Our 4-year-old daughter was trying to say what she saw in the backyard at her grandmother's house, "Daddy, we saw a peter in Granny's backyard, and it was black." (Parents trying to keep composure) "You know, it was hairy, too." Mom: "You mean a caterpillar?" Daughter: "YEAH!"

When my son was about 4 I would take him into the bathroom stall with me because he was a runner... he's also very attuned to smells. The lady next door to us happened to emit a smell. Shane was nice enough to say loudly... with glee... "Mom that REALLY STINKS!"

So my little guy's isn't quite as inappropriate as it is adorable: he loves his ukulele but he calls it his "you-ka-way-gay." Every time I think about it, I smile.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I hope you got a laugh! Since, you know, that was the point. Until next time, enjoy your peanus, watch out for those dum fucks, and keep looking at your cocks so you're not late. 
Bajiners.





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14 comments:

  1. Bajiners! It's like 'aloha'...can be used to greet AND say good-bye.

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    1. That's TOTALLY how I feel! It's just an all-around, multi-use word! I'm going to use it to DEATH.

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  2. My almost 3 year old just comes right out with the F-bombs...It's usually when she drops something or is playing a game and gets pissed off. She'll say "what the f**k man?!" or "what the hell?!?" I know it's sooo wrong but I die laughing inside! I guess I should really start censoring myself but it's just so fu*king hard lmao ;) Anyway, I enjoyed reading this post :) Thanks for the laughs guys!!!

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    1. OH my gosh! I would have trouble not laughing, too! So, check out this post I did waaaay back, maybe you don't have to start censoring yourself in front of her:
      http://motherhoodadescentintomadness.blogspot.com/2011/11/swearing-and-kids-helpful-tip.html

      And, not that it's a big deal, but if you wanted, you could type out the whole swear word on here! This is a pro-cussing zone; you don't have to censor it! =D

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  3. Oh, man, the fifteen year old boy in me cracked up all the way through this one. Just tonight, I inadvertently taught my four year old girl a new one...and couldn't help myself laughing. So glad I stopped by here...must come back again. :)

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    1. I'm glad you stopped by, too! And you can always blame the new word on "the obnoxious kids in the park" or something when your daughter spews it at an inopportune time! ;-)

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  4. My daughter says to 'shit' when she wants you to sit with her. When my oldest was about 2 he loved Thomas the train & his favorite train was 'horny' otherwise known as Henry.

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    1. Haha! So you're doing some extra shitting these days? Those are good ones, especially horny! Thank you for sharing. :-)

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  5. A friend's daughter used to love Thomas The Train characters, and was especially fond of "Percy." However, every time she said Percy, it came out sounding like pussy. One morning she misplaced Percy and began a rigorous hunt to find him but came up empty handed. So, she turned to her mom and said "Mom, I can't find my pussy," and "Mom, can you help me find my pussy?" I almost cried from laughter upon hearing the story.

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    Replies
    1. That's so awesome! I would have died laughing each and every time my kid asked me that!

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  6. My oldest used to ask if we could play football, but he called it "shitball". He especially liked to play shitball with grandpa at the family reunion. Awesome. Also complemented his great grandpa on his big red fuck. (truck)

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