Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Kid or Animal?

I seem to be in an animal/insect mode right now so I guess I'll continue on with it and write about some similarities I've noticed with raising kids and having pets. I became aware of this the other day when Brandon was standing up in his high chair, asking for more "chee". I was standing on the other side of the counter that separates the dining room from the kitchen, and I told him to sit, and after he did, I tossed him the cheese. And of course I thought, "wow, that was just like training a dog." And of course, then my mind wandered and I started thinking of all the other ways that kids and pets are similar.

1. Potty training a kid, house training a pet. Either way you're dealing with accidents and cleaning up piss and poo from where it should NOT be.

2. Kids cry and the annoy the shit out of everyone within earshot, dogs bark and annoy the shit out of everyone within earshot.

3. We've received photo Christmas cards of kids. We've received photo Christmas cards of pets. 

4. Both kids and pets get treats for being good.

5. Both kids and pets are "trained", and taught to sit, roll over, etcetera. 

6. Both kids and pets beg for food when they're not hungry.

7. I swear to God, there have been times when I've heard a cat fight, and discovered it was the baby crying. Likewise, there have been times when I thought I heard the baby crying, and it was a cat fight. They sound eerily similar. When Connor was a baby, he snored and snuffled a lot in his sleep. When he'd be sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed, it sounded like a farm animal in there, I kid you not. It was weird and actually pretty funny, all at the same time. Kids can sound like animals.

8. A drooling dog and teething baby: Both capable of saturating your shirt in seconds.

9. Both dogs and small kids cannot roam free in public. Leash a dog, some people leash their kids. We've managed to forgo the leash somehow, using hands, shopping carts, and a couple of underwear changes for me, but I in no way judge people for leashing their kids. Keep 'em safe, that's the top priority. 

10. Butt focus abounds in both: Dogs and cats lick their butts, sometimes for an inordinately long time; well after it's clean. My kids play with theirs. Let's hope mine keep to licking the bathtub, and don't devolve into licking butts. 

11. Speaking of butts... Both kids and pets sleep in their parent's bed and annoy the shit out of them. Or is that just us that find the mule kicks and elbows to the jaw annoying? However, at least THIS has never happened to us:

Primarily because we don't own a dog. Photo credit: http://epiclol.com

What other similarities are there? Come on, I know I'm missing many more!

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  1. We have a two year old boxer/german shepherd - we've definitely seen the similarities when interacting with our dog and thinking about the kid we'll be having soon. One thing I have thought about, though, maybe more of a difference, is the way we speak to the dog at times. The other day my dog tripped me and I called him an asshole. I then said, "well, I guess I'm going to need to break myself of that habit..."

    1. OR, you might eventually find yourself referring to your kid like too, under your breath, in extreme moments... ;-)
      And feel free to call me an asshole for saying that!

  2. We have two dogs. The first one, Z, we got because we wanted a dog, and he was wonderful, and needed to be rescued, and he is SUCH a good dog that in the first neighborhood we lived with him, kids from around the neighborhood would knock on our door and ask if HE could come out to play. I am not exaggerating. But, as he got older, he got kind of selfish with us, throwing fits sometimes when we paid attention to each other instead of to him (hmm), and we began to think he might really enjoy company in the form of another dog (sibling). Z was acting a lot like an only child (we thought -- despite that there are many onlies who are not spoiled brats, and despite that we recognize it is our fault, not his, if he is spoiled). So we adopted B, who is 4 years younger than Z. Z was mildly interested but mostly annoyed at first. (Hm...) B required a lot of attention from all three of us: he couldn't be left alone; he ate and drank things he wasn't supposed to (hmmm) including paint from the can if I didn't pay attention; he didn't want to sleep alone, and made his way into Z’s kennel with him all that winter and spring (hmm!); he cried when we went to work (hmmm...) and when he was left out of doing fun things like long walks or runs with Z and one of us because he was too little and couldn’t keep up (mmhmm); and he wanted to play with his big brother if he was awake, even though big brother thought this was annoying (!). When we went to the dog park, it was obvious that he wanted to play with the other dogs, but was afraid of them. As B got older, though, Z seemed to kind of enjoy him *sometimes*, and even initiated play with him *sometimes.* And then, as B got over his fear of the other dogs, Z and B would play together at the park. Z would share his favorite ball ONLY with B, never any other dogs.

    B is now 2 years old, and because of his breed will be puppyish all the way to 3. Though Z has recovered from all of his only-child brattiness, B is worse than Z ever, ever was. We’re fixing that! I am due with our first in September.

    Finally, I must add that my sister has two boys 19 months apart. When we are on the phone, she often hears my dogs playing or fighting in the background. She assures me that their fighting and playing, which are indistinguishable until a little blood has been shed (rarely), sound EXACTLY like her two boys. My dogs are like little boy brothers; they just weigh 3 or 4 times as much.

    1. Thea, I was totally cracking up reading this! It sounds exactly like two little kids. And SUPER big congratulations on your first baby! Enjoy your last trimester!

  3. kids
    Thanks for sharing this useful info..


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