Monday, April 16, 2012

What's Been Going On The Last 5 Days

Let me tell you about the fun I've been having for the past five days or so. I've had alternating episodes of being really cold and then breaking out in some kind of sweaty hot flash, and my body has been aching all the hell over, like when you have the flu. My head feels like it's in a vise and my tits are on fire as if in some hormonal throe. I'm exhausted. But other than that, I feel totally fine. I don't feel like I'm sick.

Because I don't have a fever.

I'm telling you, it is the weirdest fucking thing to feel like this and not have an accompanying fever. I mean, what is going on?? And this is what I look like:




I feel that it's an accurate depiction.


Saturday night, I went to bed and sweated in odd places for like, three hours. Like, the back of my knees and the space under my butt checks, like where your butt meets your legs, were all sweaty, (I know, yum). But no fever. Then, at like 3 in the morning, I got the chills. Like bad, bad  shaking-like-you're-having-a-seizure chills. 

But no fever.

Even my wordy ass is incapable of describing how extremely odd it is to have the chills without a fever. And then I woke up in the morning drenched in sweat. Awesome. Trust me when I say I would rather have a fever - WHAT IS THIS?? How do you get body aches and hot flashes and chills without a fever? Anybody care to take a gander? Nate suggested AIDS. I love how reasonable he is.


I'm thinking more along the lines of some rare form of cancer, a fungal infection in my blood, very early menopause, or, and this is the most likely scenario, some kind of zombie virus that I'll most likely die a horrible death from and then consume my entire family in a rabid fit get over in a couple of days. But in the meantime, I am sitting here in my own sweaty filth and wishing that the fire in my breasts would go ahead and die out. And that I get over this quickly because it sucks monkey balls.


Hope your day is going significantly better.


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15 comments:

  1. You caught my eye at 'diagnosis'. :) First question...are your tubes tied?

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    1. YES THEY ARE!!! For 1.5 years now... and things have been strange ever since....

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  2. You know we are all going to suggest that you could be KTFU.
    (knocked the eff up).

    Sorry you feel like ass.

    I am exhausted and look like I need a facelift. After reading your post, I do feel significantly better. Well, better than YOU.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Oh, yeah, I forgot to put the disclaimer in there... I was on my period during this time, and my tubes are tied, so if I'm pregnant then I have a real serious problem!!

      I need a facelift, too. Maybe we can find somewhere that does a 2-for-1 deal?

      I hope you get some rest and fell better soon, too! Thank you for the condolences!

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  3. omg. You are so halarious. Do you think you may be perimenapausal- and I totally mispelled that. ( oh well) anyway. I think I am. Are you on any new meds? You always make my day. And I too always self diagnose myself with tumors, cancers, anything that represents apending death when I get sick or feel something new I have never felt before. Go have a glass ( or 5) of wine and relax :)

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    1. I've considered the perimenopausal thing... it's not unlikely, and I'm not on any meds. New or otherwise. I've been having weird hormonal issues for the past year and a half and I don't know if it's from having Brandon, having my tubes tied, or some other weird thing like early menopause.

      I will have some wine, thank you! I need it to help with the body aches, so I tell myself! And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks I'm dying when I get sick or something!

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  4. Don't panic, yet. When was the last time you had blood work done? It could be a vitamin problem. Low potassium (sp?) levels are BAD: cardiac arrest is not cool. And did you check your blood sugar? Low blood sugar can cause the same symptoms: shakes, sweats, cold, nausea, blurred vision, headache, tired and irratibility. Trust me, it sucks. Especialy when a doctor is trying to tell you that the reason you are tired all the time is your three children. ("Well, doc, I can't exactly get rid of them like I did the dog!")

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    1. I was thinking blood glucose too!

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    2. Okay, I actually had blood work done a few months ago after having a three-week-long period. Yes, three weeks. Can you say FUN? Anyway, I lost so much blood that I had to go to urgent care and they tested me in every way imaginable. All my blood work was fine, even after bleeding like a stuck pig for three weeks.

      I have had low blood sugar episodes and this is different from those. I get them actually a lot for someone who doesn't knowingly have diabetes or hypoglycemia, and I got them all the time when I was pregnant (not good). I'm a mess, in other words, but I think this was different than low blood sugar. And yes, it's SO annoying to have everything chalked up to having scads of kids! Thanks for the chuckle about getting rid of the dog!

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    3. You think three weeks is fun? Try three MONTHS! I got the depo shot after baby 3, and BLED THE ENTIRE TIME!!! Hope everything is okay with you now, though, and it was just some weird hot/cold flashy thing.

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  5. Like the person above the first thing that came to mind is blood glucose issues.....however depending on how long this has been going on it you would have already had to visit the doc with those symptoms....could also hormonal...when does ur fam typically go through menopause? either that or thyroid hormone or ADH? Im not sure if support an electrolyte imbalance unless ur lower back hurts....maybe kidney related or due to the ADH? anyway it would be cheap for you to check it out have ur blood drawn... I would say not to scare you... leukemia... have you had abnormal bruising? Ohhh and what it prob is .....sit down for this.....NOTHING lol he he

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    1. Mollie, there's no doubt I am having hormonal problems! My blood was taken a few months ago after I had a 3-week period and everything was fine, so the doc said it's hormonal. My mom went through menopause early (late 30s I think) so I could be looking at some really early stuff!

      I've not had abnormal bruising. We can probably throw out leukemia! I'm sure it's just a virus. I feel better this afternoon; I'm on the upswing, I think!

      I still miss you, though! OH, maybe it's MOLLIE WITHDRAWALS!!

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  6. OMG, I would have died after 3 weeks of THAT. Of course, after the past three days here...I'm ready to check into the nuthouse. I think I might enjoy eating chocolate pudding and staring out the window for several days without someone screaming "MOOOOOOmmmmmm!" in that "my hair is on fire" tone of voice. I am not looking forward to summer break. :/
    PS: You're welcome, for the doc/dog chuckle. I actually considered asking for a refund on my copay that day.

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    1. Yeah, I wondered if I was going to die... I hope that never happens again! I think that staring out the window while eating mad amounts of chocolate pudding without screaming kids would be fantastic.
      You must be in spring break. With only one of three in school (and only kindergarten at that), I am not yet accustomed to the joys of school and the agony of spring break and summer. Four more years....

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