Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Who would you follow into the dark?

The other night, Nate was giving the two older boys haircuts and baths, and instead of bathing Brandon in the hair-filled bathwater, I decided to put him in the shower with me, in the other bathroom. I told Brandon, "come on", and had him follow me down our dark hall, and into our dark bedroom. Our bathroom is on the other side of the bedroom, and it was dark, too.

It wasn't until I had crossed our dark bedroom and got to the bathroom door that it hit me: it's dark. Going down the hall, Brandon had been following several steps behind me, and when I reached the bathroom door I thought, he is probably scared and is no longer following me. I turned around, fully expecting that he would have stopped at the bedroom door, hesitating in the last rays of light, unsure of whether or not to go on, into the dark.

I expected that because that's what I would have done. It's not common for us, as adults, to just blunder blindly into the unknown, into the dark. Even if we're following someone, it's instinct to hesitate and just make sure for ourselves. There's not a whole lot of people we would just blindly trust and unquestionably follow, no matter where they go, especially when we can't see the path in front of us.

But when I turned around, Brandon was right there. He did not hesitate to follow me, even though he could not see. He trusted his mom. And that's what little kids do, they trust implicitly. They take our hand when we walk into the street, even though we technically may be leading them into harm's way if we do not notice the car barreling towards us. But they don't think about that. They trust us. Whether it's within their own familiar house or someplace unknown to them, we are their whole world, and they will follow us anywhere. 

It's so easy for me to forget the depth of that in the chaos and craziness of everyday life with three small boys. Most days, I am crabby and annoyed with their antics, their excessive energy and noise. I'm counting down the hours until their bedtime and peace and quiet. As awful and crazy as this sounds, it's really easy for me to forget how important I am to them. 

But that night, Brandon reminded me. It's hard to explain, but it struck me very deeply. Probably because I need to remember this more often: We are their world and they trust us so deeply that they will follow us into the dark.

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  1. Very sweet, love this!
    We all know you deep deep deep down you really are a sweetheart ;)

  2. Aw gosh, thanks! But shhh.... don't tell! And I am laughing at your 3 "deeps"; it must be really, really well hidden! :))


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